So I had and interesting weekend at my mom’s. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy spending time with her and watching her play with Brandon, but sometimes she just rubs me the wrong way.
So we were chatting about our family, how my brother doesn’t call us and we worry, what’s new and going on with the rest of the family etc etc. So then she brings up the surprise shower my cousin threw for me and as we talked about it she kind of questioned my cousin’s motives for throwing it. Can’t she just recognize a nice gesture and leave it at that?? I honestly don’t know what her deal is…
This morning before punkin pie and I left we had another discussion about hubby & I and our selection of Guardian for our kids we listed in our will. Hubby and I discussed possible guardians about 4 years ago (not too long after Punkin Pie was born) and we created a Will and started an education fund for him. Anyway, I have a pretty big family, hubby’s is small and we both decided that we didn’t want anyone from either of our families to raise our kids. The people our age in my family are either struggling in one way or another or are somehow not as dependable as we’d like. We selected instead two couples (close friends we have known for 10+ years) as primary and secondary guardians. Each has two kids of their own around Punkin Pie’s age and have the same value system and parenting style we do. In addition, we would trust them with our own lives and know they feel the same way.
Anyway, the couple we selected as primary are now having some problems- we don’t see them as often, and they have a lot going on right now. They just moved into a new home they had built, which I think they may be struggling with (payment wise), and I know that she is going through her own kind of “mid-life crisis” so to speak at the moment, having mostly to do I think with having stayed home with the kids too long and she’s ready to have some outside life of her own.
Anyway, maybe it was me blabbing too much about it but my mom thinks that either she or hubby’s parents should be guardian. We did consider this in our initial discussion but decided that it wouldn’t be in our kids best interest for their grandparents to raise them. We wanted them to be grandparents and not parents. Leaving it up to them to keep in our kids life if something happened to us. In addition, they are the trustees, so they will be helping the guardians to decide how their trust money will be spent on things like extra activities and their education. So it’s not like they won’t be involved.
My mom’s point somehow was that she didn’t trust our selections. I thought it was pretty ballsy for her to come out and say that, but I let her know we were certainly going to rethink our selection, but only to switch the primary to secondary and vice versa. I stressed to her that raising kids takes lots of energy and neither she or hubby’s parents are getting any younger, and this is their time to do what they want to do in life- RETIREMENT- not have to raise kids again. Plus we know the guardian’s families and know that they wouldn’t make our kids feel like outsiders at all and will raise them like their own.
So anyway, I didn’t get defensive really, just let her say her peace, but now I’m wondering what her motives are…
I wonder also if she’s pissed that we didn’t pick either of her choices for middle name for the baby. It was kind of funny at the shower, I was talking with everyone about how to make Polish Cabbage Rolls (pronounced Gowumpki- don’t ask me how to spell it in Polish!) for a party I was going to. My grandpa on my mom’s side was Polish and my grandma made them quite often. So I was talking to my mom and my two aunts and my older cousin about it and everyone had some tip to add. My mom got irritated I was listening to anyone else about it and she got all snotty and said something to the effect of “Oh, looks like she (my older cousin) knows what she’s talking about, she can just tell you…”
Anyway, tomorrow not only marks the 5 year anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, it’s hard to believe it was so long ago. It’s sad to see where we are today though too. I don’t feel like the right steps were taken afterward and now we’re in a mess we won’t be able to get out of anytime soon. Saw a great bumper sticker the other day…
The end of an error
It took me a minute to figure out what it was saying, but I might just have to pick one up!
On another note, 9/11 also marks one month until this baby is due! So much going on this week- Tuesday is punkin pie’s first day of school (it’s only and hour and I’ll be there) but Wednesday is his first full day, Thursday is my next Dr’s appointment and then Saturday is Punkin Pie’s 4th Birthday!! Hubby bought his bike and put it together- it’s under a sheet in the garage now. I think he will be so excited when he sees it!
That’s all for now!