Pushing forward…

It’s been a busy summer so far and it’s only the beginning of July!

I’ve completed 3 triathlons, taking 18min off of Motor City and 14min off of Big Fish and completing a new all women’s event- She Rocks. The last I didn’t get to competitive, somthing about racing three weekends in a row kind of wears you out…come to think of it, it’s been more like 5 weekends of racing as I was team support the two weekends before that!! So pretty much every Sunday for the past 5 Sundays I’ve been up by 5am to either race or support my team! YIKES!

So now it’s a week of relaxing/healing…I hurt my foot when I almost wiped out during the trail run on my last race, nothing major, but it feels a little tender at times so I’m not going to push it!  Next up Muddy Buddy, a run/bike/obstacle course with my cousin and then another Tri the weekend after that.

Big upcoming events…My first Olympic distance Tri coming in August…1500m swim/40k bike/10k run and then in October, the Detroit Free Press 1/2 Marathon. I have seriously crossed over to the dark side I think!

Before you start thinking thoughts about how amazingly athletic I am, I do have endurance and I can go the distance, only not so fast! But really this half marathon thing is pushing what I can do. I guess that’s what it’s all about though, pushing forward!

Nervous about the training that it will entail, I know I can do it, it’s just weird to think of myself being able to run 13.1 miles, especially now as my foot hurts and my ITBS has been acting up. So rest and stretching and ice will be my friend for the next week and training starts next week!! EeeeeK!

In other news, I finally finished my book!! It’s all written and basically edited. Pgoodness is reading it for me and we’ll see what she comes back to me with, so there will still be some tweaking to do. In the meantime I have started ideas for book two, a sequel, but haven’t started writing it yet. I have however, started researching into what comes next with regards to getting my book published.

Basically it sounds like I have to write a query letter to an agent/publishing house…explaining who I am, what I’m writing and who that might appeal to.  Sounds like I can expect to send out A LOT of these. I will get a number of rejections, maybe A LOT of these too. If I get a response, it will be a request for more information and then I can send them a synopsis or a sample chapter of my book, then they decide if they want it.

Sounds simple, but to me it also sounds like I have to send out LOTS and LOTS of letters and I will get LOTS and LOTS of rejections so this process can take a ton of time…think a year or more. My last option will be self publishing and I will have to be at the end of my rope to do that. So will keep you abreast of the situation as it happens. In the meantime, between writing letters, Iwill keep writing Mia’s Story until it’s all told.

Best case scenario, an agent likes my work, sells it to big publishing house and I get a three book deal with a major advance so I can finally have my own office/library where I can write uninterrupted. Because that and my own bathroom is really all I want in life right now!! You laugh, but really, that’s all I want. An office with a desk, bookshelves to the ceiling on most of the walls, maybe a little room off the side with plants and a view of some gardens, and then my own bathroom that I don’t have to share with my kids, a sanctuary where I can take a long bath or shower without anyone beating down the door because they have to go to the bathroom.

See, it’s the simple things in life that please me, just a little space for myself, and some quiet time and I’m good.

So that’s all for now…updates to come as things happen!!

Will MTV every play music again??

I’m watching Star Wars on Mtv right now…remember when…cable first came out and the first thing you did when you got home was put Mtv on so you could see the latest and greatest in music videos? Tried explaining to my 6 year old what TV was like before cable and he just kind of looked at me. He has no idea how good he has it!!

In other news, our Racing Greyhound Team fundraiser was Friday night and had a blast. I was a little nervous, because I volunteered to work the door for an hour, but then when they needed another woman to sell raffle tickets and NO ONE else would do it, I said I would. So there was me and this 19 year old girl selling and  two other guys on our team selling too. Our Team organizer said the team who sold the most tickets would each get a free pair of Oakleys. I figured we would have NO CHANCE IN HELL of beating the guys, they are veteran team members and schmoozers to the core.

There was a ton of trash talking between us, but in the end- WE WON!! So not only do I get my hookup of sweet Oakleys from my girl Pgoodness (DUDE, I need a bill so I can pay you for those and my Coaches!), but I’m getting another pair too!! I SO ROCK!!

We also had our team Duathlon today, really less of a Duathlon and more of what triathletes call a Brick- a workout of either a Swim/Bike or a Bike/Run. Today was a Bike/Run…but what our Team Captain didn’t tell us is that it was a TRAIL RUN! YIKES!! My past trail run experience was less than stellar (see my September 21, 2008 entry) but this one was thankfully shorter and so much less treacherous! Overall it was a good time, but still challenging!

Afterward we went to this sports bar for a bite and some drinks. Our Team Leader ordered a round of Guiness for everyone and I almost freaked! The darkest beer I’d had thus far was Killians, but surprisingly, I liked it! I don’t think I’ll be drinking it every day or anything, but it was so not the motor oil hubby claimed it was- he’s a Labatts drinker.

Anyway, I’ve been under the weather the past couple of weeks and I’m hoping I get over it soon so I can get a couple more good weeks of training in before my first Tri on June 14th!

On a totally separate note, hubby and I agreed to put the younger in Preschool in the fall. Being the second child, he’s picked up on so much more and rather quickly both socially and physically, so he’ll definitely be ready come September. In a way I’m still getting used to the idea of him being at school, even if it is only a few hours a day, three times a week. It’s gonna be tough, but I’m sure I’ll find SOME way of filling up the extra free time I’ll have! HA HA HA!! Come September I’m sure I’ll be crying about it…just wait for it, I will be and no doubt blogging about how much I miss my “baby”!

That’s all for now!

I should so be in bed by now…

It’s 12:30 on a Wednesday night and I should so be in bed right now. It has been rough enough that my younger has been getting up earlier than usual the past couple of days without me staying up so late! Felt like I needed to update though, not realizing it’s been over a month since I last posted!

Updates…

My knee…is going to be fine. Went to the Dr and she referred me to Physical Therapist and I did therapy for about 3 weeks. We believe it’s simply (or not so simply) a tight IT band…so with regular stretching and exercises to strengthen the muscles around my knee, all should be well. So far it does feel better, I just have to keep stretching it though.

Races…had my first major event a couple of weeks ago, a Duathlon (5k run/20k bike/5k run) and I did pretty well. I did good (for me) on the first run, I totally rocked the bike, but had to walk a good portion of the second run due to knee pain. But I finished in less than two hours, which was my goal anyway! I also got a 1st place award! They break things down into age groups and there is also an additional group for heavier people- for men it’s called Clydesdale (220+ I think) and for women it’s Athena (160+). I always register as Athena, because there is no way anyone would take me for weighing that little!! What’s funny about it is that doing this race, I could easily spot a number of women that were 160+, but only me and another woman were grouped in this category, and I WON! It’s hilarious because so many people finished before me, but I still got a first place award! Life is funny, huh?

I’m in the middle, don’t we look so cool in our matching team kits?!! I can’t wait until I can use my Trisuit!

My mom…I think will always drive me nuts. Although I had suspected it before, I’m feeling like I’m in direct competition with her. I’m down to about 186, (down 62 lbs from my heaviest ever) and although I’ve been hovering there for a month or so, I know I’ll lose more and I’m not overly concerned about it. Anyhoo, I’m pretty proud of myself and more people are noticing how much I’ve lost (now that it’s warmer and we’re not wearing jackets and bulky things). So my aunt was over a couple of weekends ago to visit my mom while she was in town. My aunt just kept going on and on about how different I look and how proud she is of me that I’ve done this all on my own (as opposed to something drastic like gastric bypass) and my mom just sat there not saying a word, kind of wearing this funny grin, almost looking pissed that her sister didn’t say anything about the weight she lost. All I could do is smile and nod and say thanks for noticing. To kind of confirm she’s feeling a little bitter about my weight loss, she called me before she came over to say she had some pants that were now too big on her, but that she was sure they would fit me, not even asking what size I was wearing now. Now I’ll admit that one pair fit just right, the other two will be too big if I drop another 5lbs, but could probably manage those with a belt.

So I’ll probably never understand why she’s acting the way she is, but suffice it to say, she drives me nuts and I am dreading telling her we’re going to North Carolina with my aunt and some friends and other family. Oh well, I can’t change how she feels and she’ll just have to figure out how to deal with it!

My book…I’ve finished my rough draft and given part of it to Pgoodness to read and give me feedback. I stepped away from it for a couple of weeks and started reading, possibly a mistake because it’s a five part series I picked up to read and the books are LONG. I’m on the fifth book now, but I think I can put it down and go back to my book now. I’m feeling like I have some other ideas on how I want my story to flesh out, but need to talk to P about it as she is one of the few people I trust to take this seriously and be honest about it! So I’ve started re-reading and re-editing and hope to get together with Pgoodness in the next week or so to get her feedback and see if I can’t get another part to her sooner than later.

Every once and a while I freak out about what I’m doing. Writing the book I mean. For one, it’s hard to put something down you’ve created and put it out there for review. On one hand you want people to like it (love it, really) but on the other hand, you have to realize it won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. And certainly there are a number of people with rather frank opinions about things out there and will tell you that you’re crap.  I don’t think that I was ready for that before now though. I’m not saying it will be easy to hear people say that I’m crap, but I’m not going to stop what I enjoy because some people don’t like what I give them to read.

My goal with writing this really, was to write something that I enjoyed, because there are only a handful of books that I have really gotten into, like really felt immersed in and was able to escape into the story, but at the same time feel moved and just emotive. If any of that makes sense.

So I’ve written this for me, and if it never gets published, then I’ll always have it for me anyway…but if it does, I’m not expecting to win any awards either. My writing isn’t good, it’s escapist. So just like movies win academy awards because they’re good, there are plenty of movies I LOVE that have never seen a nomination. I think the same thing goes for books.

Stephen King said that Stephanie Meyer’s writing basically sucked, but her series is one that I’ve read at least 6 times. So hers may not be award winning writing, and he may be a phenomenal writer, (I’ve read both writers) and I will pick her Twilight series over his horror anyday. Maybe because of the genre, I prefer a good love story over scary ones, but she did a great job of creating her characters and drawing me into her story.

Anyway, I’m thinking that I have something with my writing, that’s escapist in the way that Stephanie has written (though I certainly wouldn’t put myself in any league with her), and I think there are some people out there that might just like what i have to write, though there will be a whole hell of a lot of people that don’t.

Either way, I’m putting myself out there, with Pgoodness for now and when it’s finally done being edited and is in some form of total completion, I’ll put it out to publishers and HOPE (and pray) that something comes of it!

Will provide updates as things happen…will try to post more frequently, but as I’ll be more consumed with upcoming races and editing my book, I might not be able to!

Bye for now!

struggling…

I’m so irritated…I’m having a battle with my mind and my body right now and it is making me so frustrated!!!

Let’s see if I can explain it so you’ll understand…

Last week while running, I felt this funny sensation in my right knee. So I listened to my body and slowed down- I totally effed up my final duathlon results in bootcamp by doing that, but I decided to play it smart and not injure myself. The feeilng wasn’t PAIN, it was more just tenderness and I felt it less when I walked after the run, then not at all. The feeling didn’t return unless I was running.

I went to the Dr to get it checked out, because three days later I had a 5k run to do AND the day after that, an indoor tri. So I had an x-ray and my Dr did all sorts of movement with my knee to see if I felt anything and determined it’s tendonitis, at the insertion point where the ligament attaches to the muscle/bone. So nothing serious, but she said with a few days rest, I should be able to do the two races that weekend…and I did, but my knee did feel a little funny again during the run portion of the tri.

So I figured this past week, I wouldn’t run at all, hoping the time off would be enough to rest it, so I didn’t really run until Friday…and after a mile and a half, I felt it again. ARGH!!!

What kills me is that I feel so fantastic, stronger than I have EVER felt in my entire life, and now my knee starts acting funny and I have to hold back!!

So part of me thinks, it’s JUST tendonitis, stop being such a wimp and keep training.

The other part of me thinks, if you push too hard it could will get worse and you could totally fuck up all you have worked so hard for and miss out on an entire season of Triathlons that you have already signed up for.

Another part of me is afraid to stop running (even if it is only for a few weeks) because it has been the base of my calorie burn and a big reason for my weight loss…so if I stop running will I stop losing or worse, gain??

And then I think, I have been training pretty much non-stop (less the two weeks I was sick in January) since September ( 8 months!!) and I’m thinking I’m maybe a bit over-trained and I need to give my body time to recover and heal.

So my brain says, slow it down stupid and don’t run for the next two-three weeks so you’ll be ready for your first event May 2nd.

But my heart is struggling with that decision because although it’s hard, it feels GOOD to run and I feel STRONG when I run.

Yes, there are other things I can do to exercise…namely swimming and I don’t know if cycling/spinning is any better for my knee, I need to find out…but none of it gives me the same kind of feeling running does.

So, my decision made, I may be cranky in the coming weeks because of it…and I will have to plan to do other things.

<sigh>

Really stupid to complain about it…I will heal…but it still makes me mad!! ARGH!!

No worries…

So I was right, there was nothing to worry about. My ultrasound came back fine. Dr. said that with hormonal changes and glandular things going on as we age, sometimes breasts get a bumpy feel to them, but it changes. If it were Breast Cancer it would feel hard like a frozen pea, not like the bumps I had. But since I was there and i’m inching up on the big 3-5, they said they may as well do a baseline mammo.

So I stayed and did the mammo. How weird. I’ve had people tell me what it’s like, but really, it’s just bizarre. They handle your boob like it’s bread dough or something, smushing it flat like a pancake. Too weird. Oh well, so I’ll get those results next week, but like I said before, the ultrasound was fine, so I don’t expect they’ll find anything on the mammo.

Hubby was a little irritated that I waited to tell him about the bumps (it would have been two weeks of him stressing before I could make the appointment) but he reacted as I expected and was pretty much stressed and worried until I called him when it was over. I really didn’t want to live with the stress for two weeks, so it was better for both of us.

Tomorrow I go for blood draw (just standard bloodwork) and I’ll get those results in a week or so too.  Think I’m going to go back again soon for another issue I’m having. I get some pressure in my chest sometimes, it’s not pain ever, just pressure. I thought at first it was because I was pushing myself too hard when I ran, but it’s not like my heart rate is that high when it happens. Sometimes it happens when I’m walking around the house. So we’ll see how that turns out. I guess it’s true, things start going downhill once you turn 30!

Still waiting on my bike, I’m hoping it will be in this week so I can take her for a ride in the 50 degree weather we’ll be having this weekend! I might even have to break out my flip-flops!!

In other news, I’m feeling bad for hubby. He had to send his x-box in for repair. The got the “red ring of death” which signifies some component internally has gone bad and I guess they’ll fix it for free. But he’ll be without for 2-3 weeks. It was working quite well for us where he would play his games and I would write. The games were less distracting for me than actual TV, so now I’m going to have to find somewhere else to write or turn my headphones up!!

Speaking of writing, I’ve got about 230 pages written so far, with still quite a bit of plot left to go. Then there will be the filling in part that happens once I get the whole story down. So this could turn out to be a long novel. It’s the kind I like to read, so it’s no wonder I would write one likewise.

So that’s it for now…I’m not blogging much because I’m writing so often…Not doing much of anything but exercising and writing actually…but that’s a good thing!!

Made my decision…

I’ve decided on the BMC Streetfire bike from our teams sponsor shop here’s a picture, though I think mine will be either all white or blue and white…

It’s pretty awesome.

I’m eager to call and schedule my fitting, this week. I need to order it before the 1st to get my discount. I just wonder how soon I’ll actually get it, because I’m thinking I’m ready to start riding outside soon!! This bike is going to take some getting used to as the gear shifts are different and I’ll be riding in a more aero position rather than the more upright mountain bike stance, not to mention using my aerobars! And on top of that my clip in pedals, so basically I’ll be attached to my bike! I’m sure I’ll be reporting a wipeout or two at some point this season!

Let’s see…went to a rock band party at Hubby’s cousin’s house and had a ball! There were 3 bands of 4 and we each took turns playing. I think we might have to do something like that at our house soon! I rotated between singing and drums, whatever anyone else didn’t want to do, since this was mostly everyone’s first time playing. It was a fun night!

I chatted with Hubby’s cousin’s sister-in-law and it turns out she’s a huge Twilight fan too. I overheard her chatting with her other SIL and she was talking about the books consuming her life for like a week or two, the same experience I had, so we yammered on and on about it for a while. It seems not everyone was as taken by the story as we were, so at least we had each other to feel like we weren’t going crazy!

I can’t explain really how much the series has touched me, I’ve read and re-read the four book series easily seven times. I’ve never re-read a book like that. Ever. But I think I’ve said it all before…so I won’t bore you with it…only to say that I will be buying the movie the day it comes out so I can watch it at home. ;p

Had my Pap last week…no biggie, but she noticed that both breasts were a little lumpy. DON’T FREAK PLEASE! She wasn’t overly concerned, because I was close to my period and she figures it’s just swollen ducts…but I have to schedule an ultrasound and if they can’t see what’s going on, then they’ll do a mammo. If she were worried, then I would have had a mammo last week, but because it’s not a single bump, multiple bumps and on both sides, it’s probably nothing to worry about.

I haven’t told hubby, only because with his mother going through her Breast cancer the past year and the chemo and all that, he pretty much stressed the two weeks before any apointment she had. He’s a worrier. BIGTIME. He doesn’t need the extra stress right now. If I were worried about it, I would have told him right away. But once I schedule my ultrasound, I’ll let him know and we’ll go from there. In the meantime, I’m not going to freak until there is something to freak out about. That’s just how I roll.

Speaking of how I roll, have you seen those Hulu commercials?? I think Alex Baldwin is hilarious! “Because we’re aliens and that’s how we roll.” The laughing part cracks me up every time. I’m sure you could YouTube it and find it…I’m to lazy find the link for you now…besides, I just caught whiff of poopy diaper…bye for now!

So done!!!

My toddler is driving me crazy!

Every day we go to the gym he gets into the drinking fountain and ends up soaking wet! They do their best to keep him out of it, but it only takes a second and he’s soaked! Today, they put his sweatshirt in the dryer before I picked him up it was so wet!

Last week, literally five minutes before we had to walk out the door to take Punkin pie to school, I walk out of the bathroom and see my 2 year old son with a poopy hand saying “Yuck!” and wiping it on his pants. UGH!!

Today he trips and falls with a snap top sippy cup filled with chocolate milk and it spills all over the carpet.

The past TWO days in a row, he has sat in Daddy’s recliner with his juice cup, taking sips and letting it run down his chin onto his shirt, pants and chair.

I’M DONE!!!

Okay, all better. I swear that if moms didn’t find their kids so cute most of the time, they would never live to see their fifth birthdays!

In other news, I’ve started spinning at the gym. It’ s a pretty cool class, you can work it as hard as you want to (or as easy as you want to) and no one is the wiser. I tend to push myself no matter what I’m doing, but its fun regardless. I figure it’s better than sitting on the stationary for an hour to condition me to get back on my bike.

Speaking of bikes. I went shopping on Monday for a new bike. The Triathlon team I’m on is sponsored by a bike shop (the guy who owns the shop is actually the whole bike team organizer) so we get some awesom discounts! The thing is, he doesn’t sell crap at his shop. It’s all pretty high quality precision equipment- so even with the discount it’s going to be pricey!!

I am personally ready to throw my credit card down and seal the deal, but hubby likes to do lots of research. So I’m going to go to another bike shop tomorrow and see what they try to sell me. I know what’s comparable in another brand and it will be more since I won’t be getting the discount, but we’ll see what they say.

Anyhoo, there is a deadline for the discount and I’ll have to decide by the 28th, and I have decided I’m done riding my mountain bike on a road course and I want something sleek and fast and at least a little competitive this year!! For two years I’ve made do with my old bike, so it’s time I got the right tool for the job!

Anyway, I’m hoping hubby will be onboard with this. He’s not giving me too much hassle about it so far, but I think it’s all happening a little too fast for him. 

So will keep you updated on that purchase, because a purchase WILL be happening before the Spring!

In other news, my mom booked a week at a small cottage by her house for us. Unfortunately she didn’t ask when we were available,  because I have a race on one weekend, and it’s our friend’s 40th birthday on the other weekend. So we could hang for the week, I guess, but I’m just not excited to tell her, because I’m sure she’ll give me, “Oh.” and then silence. So I get to tell her that tomorrow. Lucky me.

Otherwise I’m still feeling pretty good, tired lately, but strong and healthy. It’s testing week at bootcamp and I’ve improved in just about everything (except my agility drill, though I think the woman timed me wrong). 

I encountered a little writers block this week, but I found my way I think, so I will start back in tomorrow! I think I’m about half way done with a rather rough draft. Once I finish the basic plot, then I’ll go back and flesh everything out. It will take some time, but I plan on meeting my goal to finish it this year!

So my three big goals this year:

1- Finish my novel

2- Hit a goal weight of at least 165 (I’m at 192 now)

 3- Finish my first Olympic distance Triathlon -

I usually do sprints 500m swim/20k bike/5k run

Olympic is a little longer 1500m swim/40k bike/10k run

So I’m making progress on each…writing a little everyday, sticking to a great eating and exercise plan and training for the Oly race that will be in August.

It’s weird to think of August right now, in this 30 degree weather. Some hope today though, I was outside bringing my garbage cans in and I heard the birds singing! It sounded and smelled almost like a rainy, Spring day minus the worms though. So although it’s going to be cold again for the next week or so, there is hope that Spring is on it’s way! HOORAY!

Life is funny…

I so believe in Karma. I believe what good you put out in the universe will come back to you and the same with the bad. Not that I’m all goodie goodie, there are millions of people who do more do-gooding than I do, but I make my small contribution, doing little things for my family and friends when I can. I hope to be able to give back more sooner than later, but we’ll see how that works out. Anyhow, I witnessed a little Karma in action today, not for myself, but I’m really feeling like that’s what it was and I hope that the person sees it as such. But I’m guessing I’m hoping for too much. Such is life, some people will never learn.

I on the other hand, couldn’t be better. I am down to 192 and will be breaking into the 180’s sooner than later!! I have energy, I don’t crave fast food or sweets or anything like that anymore, I feel like I could run ten miles, and then still go on with my day as normal. I’m hopeful and happy and almost sick of myself for being so upbeat! If it’s bugging anyone, I’m sorry really, but seriously, this is the best I’ve felt EVER. And I feel like I can do ANYTHING!!

Actually, I was lying partially up there, I am in pain. I have decided to beat the thing I hate most right now…pull ups. So I did 50 of them (assisted by 1/2 my body weight on a machine) on Monday, along with other arm and leg exercises. It’s Thursday night, and I am still unable to completely straighten my right arm. I over did it, I know, I know. But I was “HELL BENT” on doing it. You ever get that bug? Where you are just bound and determined to do something. See, usually for me it’s to do things like, organize my closet or clean the bathrooms in 20min flat, or get ALL the laundry done AND put away. But Monday, it was pull ups.

I can’t say I won’t do it again, I felt all powerful doing them, but I’m just not sure it was worth not being able to pick up my 2 year old yesterday!

Anyhoo, my 6 year old is close to losing his first tooth. It’s been loose since December, but is now finally REALLY wiggly. He has a tendency for dramatics, so although I warned him it might hurt a little when it finally comes out, there might be blood and how it might be hanging by a thread and we’ll need to pull it out, I still think he might freak out a bit. But he surprises me sometimes. Although I am a highly positive person, with my kids I always plan for the worst and hope for the best. Still undecided on the how much the tooth fairy will be bringing, I’ve heard rates run as low as a quarter and as high as $20. We’ll probably decide on something at the low end, he will be losing all 20 teeth and at $20 a pop, we won’t be able to send him to college!

In other news, I have been spending every free moment (when the kids are otherwise occupied) that I have writing. So I haven’t been blogging or on facebook or Twittering. I am consumed with my characters and where the story is going so I can’t stop. It’s too hard to stop and then try to get back into it, so I’m going to be riding this wave as long as I can. Sorry friends and family! I’ll be dissing you as long as I’m on this streak, no offense, but finishing my book is a priority this year and quite seriously the only way I can get published. So don’t take it personally, I respond to e-mail and texts when I can, I still suck at calling people, but I can live with that.

Not much else going on, Writing, exercising, eating right, just making my way in this life, taking things one day at a time!

Irritated…

the illness is lingering and it’s SOOOOOO irritating! What was the flu mutated into an upper respiratory thing so I have been coughing for days. My faucet of a nose finally turned off the other day, so the coughing is winding down, but it still there. Freaking irritating.

Had to skip the Super 5k yesterday due to the coughing. I can’t even run for 2 minutes on the treadmill without hacking up a lung. My body finally feels ready to run, like I could go for miles, but my lungs have other ideas. IT’S KILLING ME!!!

Well not literally, but it is rather tortuous.

Another side effect of feeling lousy is not eating great. I’ve for the most part been staying in the parameters of my diet, but after 5 days of being ill and not ingesting much more than apple juice, applesauce, bananas and protein shakes, I NEEDED some REAL food. So I made myself some chicken nuggets and fries, the next day I ate spaghetti at hubby’s aunt and uncle’s house and the next day I had eggs and toast for breakfast.

Okay, it’s not the end of the world, but the whole idea behind the detox diet is to reintroduce things back into my diet slowly. I haven’t noticed any adverse effects so far, but I got back on track right away to be sure I wasn’t going to do a full relapse and eat everything in sight.

So I think I am going to start with eggs this week. I’ll have to incorporate them into my breakfast and maybe lunch as an omelette with veggies or chicken.

Anyhoo, I am down 21 lbs from the first of the year and I’m now hovering around 195. It has been YEARS since I’ve been below 200 and I really feel like I’ve hit a milestone this week!

My goal weight is 165, so I’m only 30lbs from that and at a rate of a couple pounds a week, I should hit that by May!! That’s the plan anyway!! I’m not saying I can’t get lower than that, but that seemed attainable to me when I started this crazy journey two years ago. So I’ll be happy when I hit that and then let my body decide where it needs to be.  Either way, my goal is in sight and when I hit that number I WILL be getting a new tattoo!!

That’s all for now!

I spoke too soon…

Now I’m feeling unbelieably crappy. FLU SUCKS. Hubby caught it, brought it home from work, and gave it to me!  I just hope the flu shots the boys got keep them from getting it too!

It all started Saturday night, so I had to skip my Indoor Tri on Sunday. I did go, just to cheer on friends, but there was no way I had any energy to compete. The rest of that day was spent laying on the couch suffering unbelievable chills and then sweating.

Hubby and I also got into an arguement that day, I was screaming at him- in front of our six year old (I suck)- about his over reaction to anything regarding the “destruction” and “complete ruining” of all nice things we own. He was carrying on and on about cheerios on the floor, about there being toys all over the place, finger prints on the wall, a miniscule scratch on the tv, about how everything in our house is ruined and destroyed. Talk about fricking dramatic. When I think of ruined or destroyed I think of fatal car crash or tornado relocating you house and possessions over 3 miles or everything burnt until it is unrecognizeable. In actuality, there are some things that have been scratched or dented or nicked or dinged, but certainly not destroyed.

It started off as a heated debate, but once he said something about having to clean up all the time…I snapped. I stood up and started screaming about how much more time he’s spent with his ass in the recliner than with his hand on the vaccum. He’s used it maybe 3 times in the three years we’ve had it. I yelled at him about how unrealistic his expectations were, that I’m not happy that things get scratched or whatever, but that I (we) all make an effort to keep things as nice as we can, but that shit and life happens and NOTHING will stay pristine. I told him that i would not live in a museum where nothing will be touched and that if he felt differently that he should take his fricking tv he’s so worried about and move out.

It was at that point that he stopped yelling back at me and actually listened, maybe even cowered a bit until I was done with my rant. I explained that it pissed me off that he was bitching about mostly things that were fixable- cereal on the floor, fingerprints on the wall, and that if they bothered him that much then grab a fricking rag or a vaccum and clean it, or make a note of it and I’ll do it. I told him I would let him make the boys feel guilty for things that were accidental or that they couldn’t be held accountable for and that it would be physically impossible for me to watch both of them 24/7.  I told him he should have known that this was a part of having kids and that maybe he shouldn’t have decided to have kids for that reason. I then added that we wouldn’t be making any new major purchases (furniture/tv or the like) until after the boys were out of the house because I couldn’t stand to listen to him bitch about anything else for one second more.

The thing with me is, I take it and take it and take it until one day I snap and then whoever is within a mile radius will not be able to escape my rage. We’ve been together almost 15 years and this is only the second time we’ve ever had a fight like this before. I’m not worried about our relationship, hubby is faithful to a fault even if it meant his own well being. I see things as much more temporary than he does, less black and white, and will only do things as long as they make sense to continue to do so. No worries, not thinking divorce or anything like it, I enjoy the life I have now, but I think he’ll need to know sooner than later I do not plan to live a life with constant bitching over things that are out of our control.

So he’s been good the past couple of days, taking care of the boys for me so I could rest and get better. We haven’t talked about it since. We probably won’t until the next blowup.

Anyhoo, i’m feeling better today, still weak and tired, but no more chills thankfully. Had to skip bootcamp yesterday and probably will tomorrow too. I just hope I’m feeling good enough to do my Superbowl 5k this Sunday! It may be slow, but as long as the weather holds out I’ll probably be there.

Guess that’s all for now…